♥Thursday
sighx...
dreading school...i wanna be the next drop out.
all b cuz of the freaking idiotic tan cc...
wad letter of undertaking. itis as if she is taking a lvls this year.
trying to force me to promise her blah blah blah and then still force me to drop it?
wad if i say, "alright, i will stop going for your lessons, but i will still sit for exam."
for me, academic goals is not for public viewing and there she is, trying to write an affidavit(or at least, the tchers will get hold of this) under my name.
shez a total absolute bitch lah.
i dont believe that she will be fair on her marking lo. so what if i agreed(resentfully) on the promise thing, and fall short of the grade that she set for me, drop it? push it further and i will succumb. shez deriving so much joy seeing me struggling to keep econs. how sadistic!
really hope she'll vanish forever. i'll see her dying in my dreams! seeing an old haggard woman getting more wrinkled, her already small frame shrinking and her sagging cheeks, greying hair, and she will need a walking stick to crawl along the narrow corridor, where students whiz past her, as if speeding like a sprinting leopard relative to her.
she implied that itis a torture having me in her class. so, if i stop going for her class, i wont be forbidded for the exam? wad does she wants!
keeps harping on the fact tt i cant regurgitate the correct definition. not as if i can do so for any other subjs rite!
she said that i spent so much effort on the 3 other subjs and gave up on econs. but did she know that i only spent how lil time on them? truthfully, i din put in much effort in econs this time round, but how much time did i have for revision?
so, is she going to be responsible for my anguish and regrets if i were to drop econs?
allow me to keep econs, and treat me like a normal student, and curse u whole day whole night during my lifetime.
anyway...tennis was great. addicted to it again... but itis more enjoyable in sc, with 2 whole baskets of tennis balls for us to use...and a flat wall where i chase after the balls i hit.
sighx...feel like playing tennis now...
posted by -yourname-
♥Sunday
sighz...
itis sunday again!! :(
but theres gonna be the french movie, love em if u dare on channel 56 at 9pm!!
whee...
but too bad...dunno where did smo go, need her to share the joy...
meanwhile...theres so many stuff to do!!
all the crappy stuff tt kt wanted that i find totally not useful (yet)
itis just too early to do those time management stuff lo...
i will just spend all my time on econs, not allowing them to force me to drop it!!!
and theres so much econs hmwk...maybe tan chee chian is just throwing my class lotsa hmwk trying to scare me, and make me drop!!
heh. i sound so cynical.
haha... but wad results even when im being cynical? i still fall into their traps.
heh. im so stupid!!
=x
saw soonming's msn pic...just so intriguing....
those yellowish dry grass...and scattered items...
i wanna take those type of fotos too!!
so sick of event coverage...
o yah...took so photos of the super cute but super duper fierce black bears (i always mistaken their breed to be brother bear...haha)
the mother bites. the babies squeeks and threatens u with their blazer sharp teeth! and i dreamt tt i was playing with it, and the stubborn baby sunk its teeth into my finger, and doesnt want to let go!! no matter how i fling it, it just doesnt relent...
overexposed this....so that u cant see how dirty the cage is...hahaha
thats the mum...wanna bite me eh??
thats the cute baby...struggling within my bro's clutches... :P
things i must must rmmber to do later:
collect the cake
watch lmiud!!
posted by -yourname-
♥Saturday
didnt do much today. slept through noon.:D
but had a good dream :)
went out...many of the dreams i had re-surfaced. totally blearghz...
i bought alot of things today thou:)
newayz. im not dropping econs. (yet)
guess wad!! theres a sunbird at my hse all day, hatching its lil baby! :)
cool ritez!!
posted by -yourname-
♥Tuesday
lost another ruler again...
bleah...my vault to contain my rulers are being emptied by day...
haha....
fortunately im using cheap plastic rulers...
but the weird thing is...i noe when i lost my ruler and where was i, and i was looking for it at the same time same spot! i searched for it like straight after i misplaced it...itis somewhere in my stack of pprs or econs tys...but i still cant find it, i even tore my econs notes because of it. hahaaz
got called by tan cc to read my econs case study thingy.
bad day for her, and she passed it on to me. heh.
had pe talk today. woohoo! skipped pe.
sigh...still cant go for tennis recre tml, or maybe there wont be any too.
i think i becoming a total mugger already...a mugger who got F for econs. how lousy!
posted by -yourname-
♥Thursday
still feeling sick...both disgusted kind of sick and ill kind of sick...
even plain water tastes very disgusting in my mouth..
sighx..
just feel like typing crap here.
ecosn today.
tan cc asked me to drop again.
isit just because of her selfish reasons tt she wants me to drop?
okay, theres another reason that i can ignore and of course tan cc being the HOD must fulfill or try to attain. that is to have 100 percent pass in econs or many 100 percent a lvl passes. and im standing right in her narrow corridor.
tell me!!!! shld i drop?
i really really hate econs...or at least that is wad ive been telling myself when i first took up the subj.
econs really sucks!
then y did i take up pcme this combi. why m i having even the tiniest bit of perseverence to hold on to this subj.
funny thing is, when tan cc was toking to me...i was afraid tt she wld cry.
hahaha...ironic eh. i was actually deriving some kind of joy and entertainment listening to her lecture... lol...maybe it was just tt she was having a bit of sore eyes. lol...
so...if i drop econs. im sure i will slack even more.
im sure i wont use those free time on other subjs. i ll have even less tiem for the otehr 3 subjs when i drop econs la...
bleah...
just rmmbered tt hafta wake up early tml...
tired tired tired..
posted by -yourname-
♥Wednesday
ever heard of a home without ribena?
that is my home. so lousy...
wanted to use dilute ribena to kill the medicine tast in my mouth while i gulp down loads of water...
bleah...
dun think i can finish econs...
at most just say i too sick, cant go..
lolzz...really think im gonna fail econs...
and im still confused botu the bond thing.
IR increase then bond wad wad? isit the dd for bond increase or ss of bond decrease or mkt price of bong decrease?
wad wad wad??
posted by -yourname-
♥Tuesday
just when i tot im getting well...
winter came. bloody cold. bloody sickening.
blahz.
finally went to the doc today. and had to take injection. :(
had a good 3 hours sleep thou! :) but so many pills to swallow. puke!
blahz. sick for like eons, since sat when im suppose to start enjoyin my hols...bleahz...
so much hmwk la!
:'(
posted by -yourname-
♥Monday
hmmm...
not in the mood to blog now..
cyaz
hahaha...
feeling damn disgusted....phelgm stuck at my throat area...cold and sticky and viscous....yuck yuck yuck!
glad that the fever and migraine for the past 2 days or so.
stuck at home for as long.
how disgusting!
posted by -yourname-
how can one be so determined to achieve sth?
i really really cant...
an F for econs. i ecpected that, but im still sad over that. was i laughing and smiling over an F? perhaps i was, but im not happy.
blahx.
i want to put in effort for that subj, but i know that i will end up with another failure and another one and another one...
i wont be as lucky twice rite!
almsot failed all my lit+ss, and best grade for that being C6 or so, and i got a B3 for o's for that subj.
i wont be lucky again.
luck is sth depletable.
i've depleted so much of my luck for my academic grades and for the many things in life. and im thankful for that.
but im not betting for more. there is not going to be anymore.
blahx.
i really feel like dropping econs.
every part of me tells me that i want to drop, and i really really want to drop.
but i wont. dunno whyzz....
YOU CANT DROP ECONS!!!then i wonder, why must i be so stubborn on sth? finding misery for myself...
nvmzz i will get over it. just a phasing phase isnt it?
sighx....
gp essay, gp package, ecosn essay, maths tut, chem tut, physics tut, gp arguements thingy.
most are due on wed. how how???
and so many things tt im obliged to do obliged to help...
sighxx....neways....while waiting for the burning process to finish..
i shall talk bout my dream...
super haunting lahzz...
that stupid sony ericsson phone, giving me so much problems and finally it gave me a bad dream bout it.
in my dream....it was somehow being nibbled on by some worms and i jsut cant eliminate that worn...eating non-stop! blahx, dunno wad so scary bout it, but the feeling was lousy....
sighx...think my dreams are gradually becoming black and white dreams...maybe that is somethign good. at least my brain wont need to work as hard to churn out some weird colours....
and that scrapbook i did...totally lacking of colours....save for the pink front cover...
i totally dun believe in horoscopes anymore!
today is suppose to be my "average" day... and my lucky number is 8, thats all i rmmber from the radio la...
but y din i get at least an 18/40 for econs? neither did i rmmber hearing 8 or seeing 8 anywhere, except for the lift button, which i punched one.
hmph!
posted by -yourname-
♥Saturday
feeling totally tired and lethargic. not bcuz of my usual indolence...but i really really feel dead. though ive recovered from the exams and stuff....
tried catching up with the "trend" by fanatically reading the da vinci code the whole day minus tuition time minus at out time etc, that would be a quater of a day but i've only finished half of the book yeap chapt 53.
and i cant really make sense of the 1.618 thing...if it is so essential, and so symbolic of beauty and stuff, why cant we construct anything and everything out of that ratio? that would make everything perfect isnt it?
here i am, vacillating. to do all those arduous gp hmwk which is comparable to scaling the edifice taller than the beanstalk that jack witnessed. or to finish the book? can 1.618 help me choose?
bleah...
maybe all i need is just a game...tennis would be ideal....
but i would be more than glad to be able to grab one or two of the lcers for a game of bball. :)
i certainly agree that wacking the speeding tennis ball relieves stress. watching it touch the corner of the court, spins off the ground, cuts through the air surpasses all resistance, repeling opponent's chase..., im hallucinating.
hahaha...
i've decided, the book! :D
shall do hmwk before i go to sleep, when my brain is almost not functioning anymore! ;)
posted by -yourname-
♥Tuesday
cant stop dwelling on the sad stuff...but...yeah..
bad dreams, woken up like billions of times thruout the nite, and being coward enuf to feel scared bout looking at the time, in fear tt i see 02:06. hide and seek and white noise arent a good combi afterall.
as usual, boring econs lect.
then got the stupid chem terms back. though it was better than expected, it shall be percieved as an omen for the other term pprs. sure fail econs and gp....
stupid founders day. boring pple boring celebrations boring camera.
and i actually forgot tt i got a 1 gig of space to get my fotos back instead of having to feel sad for like 2 hours cuz of the hole in my collection...
was requested to burn the orientation fotos again...
i've burnt at least 5 copies of it! and all just happily vanish and got treated as a frisbie(is this how u spell it?) eh? itis like...i've spent at least 15 cds trying to burn 1.78gig of fotos?!?! itis so freaking wasteful la!
and great world doesnt sell syrian long hair beige females! >.<
bleah. ppor hamsters, gonna extinct soon....
and i saw one guy at the great world bus stop who look like this photographer i saw today! at least they got nice hair la...very very nice hair :)
ya...i just dont get wad old pple are thinking.
im walking on my side of my pavement, u r walking on the other, why cut to my "lane". and there aint anyone obstructing ur way anywhere near!
im done! :)
posted by -yourname-
